How the eff did this happen? Well, let me tell you...that is, if you dare to dive into my wacky world of wedding planning and get brought up to speed.
To be honest, after our "-1st Anniversary Party" we threw this past October, not much really progressed in the way of wedding planning. Maybe I was distracted by other obligations and the always stressful holiday season. Maybe I was just being lazy. Either way, I slacked off...big time.
Suddenly, it was the middle of January and I realized I had 9 months to make this wedding happen. Panic set in. I began scrambling to finalize the guest list, which I figured was key before I could do anything else. Our reception venue can only hold 120 people. I initially had nearly 175 I wanted to invite. Deciding who I had to cut from the list was an incredibly agonizing ordeal. I feel terrible that I had to exclude so many friends and some family, but it wasn't exactly by choice.
I also had to make an executive decision about my Save The Date (STD) magnets. Originally, I had planned on having pseudo-engagement photos taken early last Fall (by our friend & photographer) so I could make the STD magnets and mail them out with my Xmas cards by mid-December...thereby saving me postage.
But it didn't work out that way, obviously. Our friend has a hellish work schedule, and so do we. Especially Dan, who inconveniently works EVERY Saturday and Sunday, 8am-5pm - prime photo shoot time. I was dead-set on the photos being taken outdoors, in the woods, with all the wonderful fall colors around us. But as we tried and tried to sync up our schedules to have the photo shoot during daylight hours, Fall began shifting into Winter and my outdoor photo idea withered up with the local flora and fauna.
Looking back, I think I was more bummed out about it than I realized. Perhaps it even had a hand in sliding me into the pit of apathy and laziness that I wallowed in for the past few months. I'm not sure. But as the proverbial wedding planning fire was lit under my ass in mid January, I knew I had to just use a photo of us and get the damn things made and mailed.
I used a photo that was snapped at my company Xmas party this past year. I love it, he doesn't. He says he looks creepy, but I think it he looks fine. Whatever! I designed them and uploaded the design to the magicians at Vista Print, who made the magnets and mailed 200 of them to me for a total of $44!
Here is what we sent:
In addition to the magnets being made and sent, I've somehow managed to choose my colors, finalize my bridal party, work out a timeline, create our wedding website, secure a florist, decide on a menu, choose my linens, gather examples of dresses, jewlery and hair styles, purchase the wedding and bridal shower favors, begin gathering materials to make the invitations, and begin choosing music.
In keeping aligned with the original goal of this blog, I will say this: I have learned a PANT-LOAD about the pitfalls of the wedding industry. Or, as author and offbeat wedding connoisseur Ariel Meadows Stallings calls it, "the Wedding Industrial Complex" (WIC). I'll delve into my findings as I go on, but my STD magnets are a perfect example. On a dozen WIC websites (sites that specifically sell everything you think you need and don't need for your wedding) I saw the SAME size magnets offered WITHOUT the ability to dramatically customize them for 3 TIMES what I paid for mine!!!
This may seem like small potatoes...and to the more 'offbeat' types, ridiculous to even CARE about something like STD magnets...but if you want them like I did, and you are on a shoestring budget like me, finding a way to get 200 magnets for $44 instead of $144 is kind of awesome.
I've got all kind of golden nuggets like that one. And more ideas are hitting me every day. I've got a war chest of ammo now. To be fair, I owe my new found motivation and organization to my sister and Maid of Honor, Andrea. She has been AMAZING...
First of all, she helped make the STD magnets happen. Sure, I made and paid for them, but she helped with the final assembly and mailing, which I just did not have time to deal with that week. The magnets went out the 2nd week of February, nearly 3 months later than I wanted to send them. But it felt good, it was the first tangible accomplishment since the purchase of my $50 wedding dress 10 months prior.
So yeah. In the past month, I've been devouring all kinds of delectable "how to have an awesome, non-conformist wedding on a budget" type books, blogs and magazines (many that Andrea checked out for me from the library for free!). I've been scouring Etsy and eBay. I also hit up a free bridal show at an awesome local craft store that featured DIY decorating tips and such. My sister came with me, and we had a great time spewing ideas and dissing others while wandering around the store all afternoon.
I've been making lists, spreadsheets and filling notepads with ideas and "MUST DO" tasks. I have a few big ticket items in que at the moment. Once I can check them off, I will have a good bulk of the planning in order, which will hopefully ease my stress level a bit.
But back to the silverware.
To put it mildly, I've had a helluva time picking stuff for the registry(s). Maybe it's the way I'm wired, but I just cannot justify choosing (what I consider) expensive items for my registry. On the other hand, I think it's retarded to put a $4.99 spatula on a registry. Do I really need that spatula? Of course not. I'm 31 years old (in two weeks) and I have 5 spatulas that I've acquired over the past 12 years of living on my own thankyouverymuch.
But silverware, well shit, I guess we could use a real set. The set I have is the same set I bought at Family Dollar about 10 years ago...and you can tell, it's pretty crappy. So after I hashed out the justification for putting a nice set on my registry, I set about finding one that I could live with for the next 20-30 years....you know, like our parents did.
OMFG...the PRESSURE. I stared, clicked, studied and sat open-mouthed in front of row after row of silverware sets on both Target and Bed Bath & Beyond's websites. Hours were lost. Days slid by. I just couldn't decide. None of them really jumped out and made me feel like it defined me, or rather us, and our home. I finally decided on a set. But it terrified me, because I suddenly realized how my insanely judgmental tendencies were starting to affect this wedding.
Case in point - bridal and wedding shower favors. I feel that nearly everything available in this department and commonly used is absolutely retarded. All the shit that is 'bride and groom' themed is just obnoxious in my opinion.
Oh look, a little candle in the shape of a wedding cake. LAME. Or a tiny bag made out of netting with 3 Hershey kisses in it. HOW THOUGHTFUL. Even worse are the personalized items. I just can't imagine pushing this crap on my guests. There also seems to be a huge imbalance in my mind about giving a tin full of mints with "Mint To Be" written on it for $1.70 to someone who spent $50-75 on a gift for us. Maybe it's just me and my critical gift-giving belief system, but that just doesn't seem fair to me.
I understand cost is the primary factor here. But at least give something that is somewhat practical! Preferably NON-wedding themed little picture frames, bottle openers, votive candle holders, or manicure sets (for bridal showers). These are better options in my suddenly selfish, consumer-driven mind. And if you know where to look, you can get them cheaper than what's available on the WIC sites!
But whatever. By saving boatloads of money elsewhere, I managed to pull off my kickass favor idea I came up with years ago...and think they will be a big hit. Not that ANY of this shit matters in the grand scheme of LIFE...but you know...I've got a vested interest...for this year anyways.
Well, I could ramble on more, trust me. But I'm going to try updating this thing at least once a week. Just so I can document all of the weekly insanity, excitement and stress of planning and paying for an unconventional wedding on a very tight budget. The good news is that we are on track. I've managed to save PILES of money just by knowing how to use the damn internet properly and not being afraid of thrift stores. :)
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